Ode to December

Dear December,

Thank you for all the lights during these dark days and for all the songs that get stuck on repeat.
Thank you for giving us delicious treats and a smile to keep.
Thank you for keeping us warm and fuzzy on the inside during these cold winter nights.
Thank you for teaching us that sharing and giving is a precious gift.

These are just a few reasons why all the other months are jealous of you.
December you truly are beautiful.

With love, Ana

How to deal with feedback attack

Feedback comes in many ways, but not often in a way we like to perceive it. Even positively intended, it can hit you like an unexpected punch, right in your face, knocking you out, leaving you unconscious. By the time you regain consciousness the time for a proper reaction has passed. Maybe you can take the hit better in round two. It does make you wonder, why do we always feel the need to defend ourselves when under "attack"?

I personally admit I can feel offended by feedback when I didn't ask for it. Feedback is like looking in the mirror on days you know you have a bad hairdo and you don't want to be reminded. Unwanted feedback is a happy state destroyer. Let's face it, the delivery of a message either negative or positive is an art form not mastered by many. I want to look into that mirror by choice, on days when I feel like it. When I don't like what I see and change is needed, I decide when I take matters into my own hand. Unfortunately, I also have to wake up and smell the coffee sometimes. If you have never taken a hit, you wouldn't ever have known how strong you can be.

So how do I take feedback? I use the what I call filter system. Perceive the things that seem useful even if I don't like to hear it, and toss all the things that I think are useless over my shoulder. This is a skill that can be mastered by everybody, but it has to be trained. When the feedback that is given goes over and over in your mind, write it down in key words. Subsequently divide those key words in two groups. One group that matches your personal process and that you'll find useful. The second group that matches your shuffle it up your ass standards and that you find useless. Write the keywords on two separate piece of papers, tear the useless (shuffle it up your ass) paper up, toss it over your shoulder and let it go. From this point on stop thinking about it. Life is about whatever brings you joy and brain racking insecurities will never make that work for you.

Be happy,
~Ilona~

State of mind

The mind is a powerful thing. The mind can either be your best friend or your worst enemy. When in a positive state of mind you have the power to process anything that comes your way easily and you will find the necessary solutions to any problem or obstacle. However, when your mind is filled with negative thoughts you open your mind to fear and doubt. Creativity and insight gets blocked and it is much harder to find your inner strength and happiness. A negative mind can be very stubborn, making it hard to change direction.

How to change your state of mind when you are in a train not towards happy town but towards the train station of doom? The answer lies in the way you look at your brain. Your mind is nothing more than a muscle and muscles can be trained into a powerful positive force. I have recently read an article about Philippe Petit, the man that walked on a high-wire across the Twin Towers in the 70s. The article mentioned how he manipulated his own mind by eliminating negative thoughts. He focused on repeating certain positive thoughts over and over again. It helped him getting rid of his fears. Philippe was not manipulating his mind. He trained his mind to stay focused on positive and powerful thoughts that gave him strength. You can also train your mind to be a strong and powerful tool. Find yourself a positive mantra you can repeat infinitely. For every negative thought, fear or doubt you have, create a positive counterpart and repeat them as many times a day as you can until it becomes your reality. Every time your mind wanders off to the dark side change tracks by repeating your mantra.

Your first few attemps might feel awkward or even unsuccessful. However, the importance of training any kind of muscle is patience and repetitiveness. Remember the first few times you visited the gym or started a new training? Afterwards you felt like you have been put through the wringer and you doubted you could ever get in shape, BUT eventually you got stronger. The benefit of training a muscle is that once it is trained, even if you don't use it for while, muscle memory kicks in when you need it again. Making it easier to get back at the same level. It is easier for a trained mind to stay on the happy train track. A world of positive vibes will open up to you. To help you get started here is a mantra: A happy mind is a strong mind.

With love, Ana

The morning ritual

I used to wake up in the morning in a state more dead than alive. Opening one eye, looking all grumpy and stuff, hating the world, hoping for the morning to be over already. Not to mention all the morning drama that comes with it such as delayed trains, stumbling over own feet and losing keys.  I am sure I am not the only one around with these daily errors and people reading this, nod while thinking, I feel ya. 

This all changed when I made a conscious decision to change my ways and therefore to change my days. A good start in the morning is half the battle to a happy day and in the long run, a happy life. All the good you send out comes back to you in tenfold. This doesn't mean that slow grumpy starters aren't happy people, I am merely saying there are easier ways to get your day started. Positive thinking is a habit that runs on autopilot by repetition. The first couple of times when you wake up in the morning and say to yourself: “this is the happiest day of my life!!" Your subconscious mind objects: “No it's not you liar, this morning stinks!" As Josh Shipp points out perseverance is stubbornness with a purpose. Don't give up!

I support my daily happiness habits with a morning ritual starting the night before. Right before I fall a sleep I mumble to myself: “tomorrow is going to be the best day of my life." That thought alone is enough to fall a sleep with a smile on my face. Since I am not a morning person in general, I replace my hit by a truck feel with feelings of gratitude. Realizing I have had a good night sleep and good health is enough to start my morning in bliss. I will never be an out of bed jumper, and that's ok, changing your habits doesn't mean you have to become someone you are not. So, I slowly open my eyes, cuddle my cat, and make my way to the bathroom where I serenade the day by playing my happy music playlist. The cheesiness of the playlist itself already gives me the giggles. This ritual alone is enough to start the day with a smile, but there is a cherry on top of that cake, the ode to the morning coffee. Full of love I stare deep in the eyes of my cup of happiness realizing life can't get any better than this. That's it, start your day differently by changing your state of mind and a whole changed world will welcome you with open arms. 

Be Happy, 
~Ilona~

The happystepzchallenge: Memories

Dear happiness frontiers,

The happystepzchallenge ended a few days ago. We hope you had as much fun participating in the challenge as we had in creating it.

We have posted inspirational, funny and helpful quotes for a period of 30 days and asked you to take pictures inspired by these quotes. We were pleased to see all your wonderful interpretations. Seeing and reading your stories made us very happy.

As promised, we have a little surprise for the person whose creativity captured a quote the very best. After some deliberating we have decided that not one but two people embraced the spirit of the challenge to the fullest and deserve the spotlight. Esther and Linda you have truly conquered the happystepzchallenge. Thank you ladies for sharing your lovely pictures and making us part of your happiness journey. You both will be hearing from us very soon.

As for all the other participants we are very grateful and pleased to see you taking stepz towards awareness of your happiness. Keep on walking forward. The challenge is over but we hope that the memories and meaning behind the challenge will last a very long time.

With love & be happy,
Ana & Ilona

The happystepz photochallenge rules

Dear happiness frontiers!

We are delighted you are joining the photochallenge! With all the newborns in the animal kingdom, Spring often feels like a new start.  During this period the earth smiles at you with flowers, so why not smile back by taking a photo of all this wonderfulness?

During 30 days each day we will post a photo of a quote on Instagram and this blog. It is your task to photograph your ideas/ interpretations of these quotes. Sharing your photos is optional. It’s something you do in order to lift your own happiness vibration, however we would love it if you DO share them with us! The best photo will win a price! For now we will be keeping the price a secret.

If you would like to compete for the photo of the day or the best photo overall, there are different ways to share your photo’s with us:

Follow us on Instagram @happystepz and tag your photos #happystepzchallenge

Like Happystepz on facebook and post your pictures on our wall

Send your photo to our email: happystepz2014@gmail.com

Don’t forget to subscribe to our blog to receive our daily updates. You can enter your email on the right side of this page.

Be happy and with love,

Ilona and Ana

A little piece of happiness

Last week I bought an awesome pencil sharpener and it reminded me of all the cool stuff I used to have in my pencil case back when I was in school. What I loved most about school was goofing around with my friends. Laughing about the little things that had happened just a few moments prior. Coming up with silly nicknames for each other. Gossiping about absolutely everything. When the bell rang and we had to go to class the fun never stopped. Trying but failing not to joke and talk during class. With the teachers’ stern gaze upon us what else could we do than to write each other notes. I loved writing notes to my friends during class. Telling them that the teacher was wearing the same clothes again! Writing down in code about the cute guy sitting just a few tables away from us. Describing in detail how I envisioned my future. All my notes have some kind of doodles or drawings on it. Those drawings were the cherries on top of my happy pies. My friends and I had so much fun passing around those little crumpled up pieces of paper. Happy memories.

There is no longer a need for secret notes. But the joyful feeling you get from such a tiny thing reminds me that happiness can come from the smallest of things. A bird flying above your head, a small flower growing in you garden, the purr of a kitten, a grateful smile or a small doodle on a piece of paper. Getting a text or an email does not have the same feeling as receiving a little hand written note. That is why this week I will be writing all my fabulous friends little notes and for old times sakes I will add some of my funny doodles. Just because it makes me happy and I hope it will make them happy too.

Here is my digital note to you, my dear readers.
Dear happiness frontiers,
I hope you are all having a great and wonderful year so far. I believe you are amazingly strong and can do anything you set your mind to. This quote from the 90s TV show Buffy the vampire slayer always makes me laugh. I dare you to quickly repeat this wonderful Willow line: "A doodle. I do doodle. You too. You do doodle too."

With love, Ana ♥

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Happiness lies in the eye of the beholder

One of my bigger passions in life is photography. Mankind has been expressing themselves ever since the first caveman paintings some 40.000 years ago.  People only need their creative skills and imagination to produce beauty. Paintings, literature, movies, songs and so on, are all various ways how people are trying to speak to others.  Photography is one of my favorite forms of expression. Especially looking through the lens of a camera and taking that flawless picture. Or spending hours on apps like Pinterest or Instagram. Appreciating the splendor caught on camera by others. 

I wasn't a natural born photography lover. I remember when I was a kid I hated having my picture taken. I have tons of pictures where I look grumpy or I’m looking away from the camera. I blame my relatives. Although I have a professional photographer within the family, most of my relatives can’t take a good picture even if their lives depend on it. Seriously, I kid you not. Most of my childhood pictures are horrible. I have pictures where all the heads of the people in it, are cut off. Now a days when photos like that are taken they are called artsy. Hmm… maybe my mom was just ahead of her time however I sincerely doubt that. 

Depending on your age or affiliation with photography you may or may not have worked with analog camera’s. Back in the ‘dinosaur era’, you only had a roll of film to capture that perfect moment. That’s another reason why so many pictures were that awful back then. Once taken there was no way back. Thanks to digital camera’s you can take and retake and adjust until it’s perfection. 

My view on photography changed once I got behind the camera myself. I finally got to see the world the way I wanted. Capturing my vision and how I feel at that very moment together in one perfect memory on film. One image speaks volumes. It can say something to me and speak a different language to someone else.  That’s the beauty of it. Interpretation is up to the imagination.     

                                                                                                                           With love, Ana

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Shoppingl(ist)cious

 A sales hunters word means nothing when not delivered, therefore I hereby present you my top ten list to increase your happiness during your city shopping trip. Remember this is my opinion, take my advice if you want to, but make it your own.

1. Dress sensible. If you want to try out clothes before you buy them, it is better to have clothes on that you can easily take off. There is nothing worse than knowing you have to take off those incredible tight jeans every time you want to try something out. Same goes for many layers of clothes. You can look great wearing something casual and practical.
2. Make sure you wear shoes that are comfortable to walk in. Your feet are the most important companion on your day out shopping. Be good to them and don't cause them unnecessary pain.
3. Don't just stick to the big brand names. You often find the nicest things in little unknown shops. They’re often hidden in little alleys, so be adventurous and look around.
4. It's always good to have some cash on hand. Nowadays, I hardly ever have cash with me, but in other cities it can happen that they don't accept your debit card or you can only pay with cash.
5. Antwerp is only a two hour drive from where I live. So there is a mini road trip bonus added to my shopping spree.  Bring some snacks and drinks on the way, because unexpected traffic jams or delays can always be a problem.
6. If you like it, buy it. Many times I have gotten home from a trip and hated myself for not buying that cute little dress. Trust me, you will regret it if you don’t. It’s not like you will be over there shopping again next week and if you do buy it and decide it isn’t all that, you can always make someone else happy with it.
7. Google maps is my best friend when it comes to checking out the surrounding area beforehand. I don't want unexpected high phone bills or use a navigation app, therefore I make print screens to see where I need to go without having to use the internet. You can always own up to being a tourist and use an old-fashioned city map.
8. Check out trip advisor for the best place to try local coffee and pastries. This way you can entertain the ones at home with your fantastic food photos on Instagram, during your well deserved break.
9. When in Rome do like the Romans. When in Antwerp do like the Antwerpians?! No idea how or what they do? Then improvise. Remember the people who live there, know their city the best. Follow their lead, preferably without stalking. 
10. One more thing, have fun!! That's the reason you are doing this in the first place.

Enjoy your January trip.

With love, Ana  ♡

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Beat the January blues

Every morning on my way to work there is but one expression that's on almost every face I encounter. It doesn't matter if people are glued to their phones, listening to music or simply staring blankly into space. They all look miserable. I must confess I am not a morning person. People who know me tend to keep their distance. However, in January I am not the only grumpy looking one.

Due to the weather and its limitations the winter months can feel very harsh. You won't likely find people picnicking or having a BBQ during the winter. January can feel like the longest month of the year. There is little excitement, there are only the gloomy and cold days. To get me through this month I plan loads of fun things to do. This way time seems to pass by quicker and I constantly have something to look forward to. There is one good thing about January that can help you get through the month. One four letter word that gets a positive reaction from the grumpiest of us all. Yes ladies and gents I am talking about sale! Solden, saldi, uitverkoop, saldos. Doesn't sale sound great in any language? After all the shopping you did for others in December it is time to treat yourself and sale is the universe's way to tell you, you deserve it. There are cities known for their sales in January. One of them is Antwerp in Belgium. Antwerp is a great city to visit any time of the year. Now it has been a long time since I've been in Antwerp, I figured what better way to get me through the January blues then by planning a shopping trip.

To get myself in the mood I searched the web for some advice. I also interrogated my friends so that they would share all their secrets and give me inside know how. It isn't only fun to do, but it's also another way to keep your mind off the cold and dull weather. I found a lot of information on the internet about where to shop and where to eat. Sometimes researching a city before visiting can be overwhelming. You can find so much information on the do's and the don'ts. Everyone has an opinion on things and you often read different revues on the same topic. Who and what to believe? I think the most important thing is to have an open mind. The less expectations you have the better it will be, because if you don't expect anything it can only surprise you in a good way. Read the online revues, write down street names and places you think could be nice to visit, BUT don't let that dictate your visit. Because it is YOUR day. What you experience and how you feel refers to who you are as a person. Keep that in mind and you'll have a great time. 

That been said if you agree with me and think planning a shopping trip can help you with the January blues, then check out my do's and don’ts on how to increase the fun of your day shopping in another city. I’ll be posting this in a few days.

With love, Ana 

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